Timothy Pate

I made it through the day unscathed. A coworker put a Post-It note on the bottom of my computer mouse, rendering the clicker on-screen immobile for a couple seconds. For my part, I clipped a loud, chirping plastic bird to the bottom of my boss’s chair. She didn’t find it until the end of the day. We’ll chalk that one up in the W column.

Of course, there were some pretty lame pranks pulled, especially on the Internet. A local talk radio station (and probably hundreds more around the country) posted on Facebook that Hillary Clinton is “suspending her campaign pending an indictment from the FBI.” People and John Stamos collaborated on a ham-fisted prank with Netflix. Does anyone fall for these any more?

The problem with April Fools’ Day is that it’s a day dedicated to high jinks, which means it’s also a day for everyone to be on high alert. Practical jokes really only work when we’re least expecting them. Centering a day around them defeats the purpose. Perhaps April Fools’ Day’s greatest hoax is how predictable it has rendered itself.

What we need is a secret committee whose sole purpose is designating a different day each year for April Fools’ Day. Make April Fools’ Day great again.